The Final "Question"

I was staid, going through the motions, handling business and I thought I was going to be just fine. The plan was to pick up the supplies, pay my bill and then ask for them and leave. I thought I was doing fine…….until she handed me his ashes with that sympathetic expression. I felt the tears well in my eyes and I headed for the door. By the time I was sitting in my car I was full-out crying.

Question died on February 26^th. The snow was just beginning when I carried him out to the car and started toward Dr. Tammy’s clinic normally a half hour drive. That snow was coming down hard, though and the roads were progressively worse as I headed north. I believe it took me 45 minutes but I was in such a bad way that I don’t really know.

Unfortunately, Dr. Tammy was already in surgery and couldn’t leave but both of her associates were able to help me through my decision. My sweet Cutey-Q was dying before my eyes and we couldn’t do anything for him except end his suffering. He trusted me, he always had and all I could do was help him to die. I felt so helpless. He was so brave.

Q during one of his few cat show appearances

Out of all my cats during these last several years Q was the only one who ever stayed visible when someone visited. He had to be in the middle of things, to know everything that ever went on in his home. He tried to help the furnace guy check out the furnace and instructed the plumber on how to fix the plugged drain. When someone came to the door, he was right there to greet them while the other cats scrambled over each other to escape upstairs.

The vacuum cleaner didn’t bother him, nor did the dog. Out of all of my cats, Q was the only one who consistently came running when I called his name. He was an indoor only cat and never once acted like he was interested in going outside, at least not until that last week of his life. Suddenly, when the weather turned cold one day he tried to follow the dog outside. I decided to go ahead and see where he would go figuring he would simply turn around and come back in when he realized how cold it was. Instead he kept walking, right down the sidewalk toward the gate!

Question and his brother Sky Voice

I brought him back inside then and for the next few days I had to pick him up and hold him whenever I let the dog out. The night before our snowy journey he stayed close by me but didn’t want to be held. I stayed up with him most of the night worried that he wasn’t acting well at all. He’d been ill but I really hoped he would pull through.

Then, early in the morning he jumped up on my bed, though I don’t know how. He never moved again. I had to carry him downstairs because he couldn’t stand anymore. That’s when I called the clinic and told them I was coming.

Ironically just a short time ago I thought I was losing my precious Mewdy Blue. But he recovered, miraculously, and Q got sick. Part of my grieving included the feeling that fate was paying me back for praying for Mewdy Blue’s recovery by taking Cutey-Q. Another part of me feels guilty for ever taking my cats anywhere possibly exposing them to who knows what. Perhaps I should have kept them in a bubble where they’d never be exposed to the toxins and pathogens present everywhere in our world. But what kind of life would that be?

The mind and heart plays these games with our psyche shooting our emotions out of the realm of reality as we come to grips with a loss such as this. Someone must be blamed. We’re sure it is all our fault, or maybe it’s someone else’s fault or he’s not really gone, or maybe, just maybe I can bring him back (I’ve actually had a dream where we’ve euthanized one of my cats accidentally and I was able to counteract the euthanasia solution to bring him back).

Question

So today I look at the cats before me and realize that I no longer have any blue and white cats. All but two of Effie’s family are now gone. Besides Lady Butterfly (18), Effie’s sons, Mewdy Blue and Sky Voice (16), are the only ties left to the first colony of feral cats I ever worked with. The only ties left to so many spirits. Perhaps it is appropriate that they are both blue.

Character of Color

Ineffable (Effie) 1992?-2008

What kind of character does your household have? I’m not talking about the design of your house or the way you’ve decorated it inside. No, I mean what kind of a feel do you get from the animal “hues” around you?

There was a time when two blue cats, four blue and white cats and one silvery brown and white tabby resided with me. It gave me a cold feeling for a very long time. Their colors were cold, just the colors not the cats. I also had one red tabby, a brown-patched tabby and white and a couple of tortoiseshells but the number of blues outweighed their warmth.

Blizzard and Isis

Over the next several years the blue and white cats have left me and more red tabbies have joined us (along with a fiery calico and a quiet tortoiseshell). Now the household feels warmer.

Much warmer, huh? This is Mulberry Spot, Gooseberry and Strawberry

Now this is not to say that those blue cats were cold or snobbish, or that the more recent red tabbies are any cuddlier. I only mean that the atmosphere within my house reflects the colors that fill it.

Have you ever thought about the colors of your pets and how they affect the very air around you? Could they even affect your mood at times? Have you ever adopted a pet based on its color? Or do you find yourself attracted to certain colors without consciously having a preference for it (I mean you might “like” red tabby cats but find yourself looking more at calicos for some reason)?

Question, my Cutey-Q, 1997-2013

I’d love to hear your thoughts on how the color of your pets might affect you. Just drop me a line in the comments section.

Adoption News

Great news! That beautiful girl, Twix has been adopted. After all the time she has been at the shelter I'm so glad that she finally found the home she deserves.

Frito, my favorite chip!

Now we need to get a home for Frito my favorite girl. Boy, if only I had room.......................

Libby, a very discerning girl

and for Libby another long-time resident. Libby is a black, longhaired adult spay with beautiful gold eyes. You can see that her ruff is a smokey black but very full. She will need to be groomed daily with that long, full coat. Libby doesn't seem to like other cats so it would be best if she found a home where she is the only cat and probably allowed to be the boss!

She doesn't think much of my photo skills

Let's find these two great homes soon.

The shelter is located at:         975 W Lincoln Highway
Nevada, IA 50201
Ph: (515) 382-3338

Their hours are:                       M-F 11 am to 4 pm

                                                Closed on holidays and weekends

You can see more of the pets awaiting adoption at the shelter website  and updates at their Facebook page.

Adam-12 and the Snake

Okay, maybe I'm a little Psycho

I just love classic television (kinda goes along with hating change doesn’t it). I think the majority of my TV time is spent watching ME-TV or Antennae TV these days. I know that times are different now and audiences demand more of their shows but I think I belong in the past. These shows still have people being shot, dying, legal dramas, exotic locales and other things similar to today’s shows. However, they don’t show a bunch of gratuitous blood and guts, don’t use swear words, have no explicit sex scenes. I feel comfortable with the environments and situations, not stressed out by offensive scenes before me.

How's this for an exotic locale?

Today I was watching Adam-12 (I love that show) and found myself laughing at the storyline. It seems a car was stolen from a real “space case” of a woman – remember this was the ‘70s. During the interview with the victim Malloy and Reed discover that her pet boa constrictor was in the trunk of the car (see, I did bring an animal into the discussion). Just their facial expressions made me laugh. Then the reactions of other patrol officers to the announcement of the snake brought more hilarity. They didn’t have to use sexual innuendos, or racial slurs to make me laugh. They simply placed the main characters in a humorous situation and used their body language to convey their thoughts. They were actually acting!

Can't find a snake, how 'bout an ostrich?

We never do get to see the snake and yet I could picture the officers who finally did recover the car and its inhabitant. It was just good TV. That’s why my family used to gather in the evenings to watch TV together. We actually had shows that were appropriate and engaging for all of us.

Tonight I went back to the present and watched Person of Interest where they shot people point blank, beat up a woman even kicking her in the gut, tortured someone and ended the show feeling like they’d really accomplished something. L Today’s shows imply that most murders are sexually related; stabbing is a substitute for rape, mutilation is a sign of impotence, and the positioning of the body has some sort of sexual/regretful connotation. Why can’t a murder just be a murder? Yes, I know, that’s a strange question but it comes from too much time spent in TVland.

See, violence with no blood!

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I watch TV and movies to escape the real world. I don’t need to see the things that truly surround us, that stress us all out, that scare the daylights out of us. I like to see families who can learn to get along despite their differences (Father Knows Best), can solve crimes without showing us all the blood and guts involved (Dragnet, Adam-12); people who can use their brains rather than their guns (Perry Mason), and humor that is clean and really funny (George Burns and Gracie Allen). I know, modern TV offerings aren’t all bad but I’m so happy to have an alternative.

Ahhh, soothing sunset over Makaha Beach

Times They Are a-Changing

The weather is one of those things that make Iowa what it is: unpredictable. This year is a roller-coaster in the weather department. The first part of the week the temperature is in the 50s then in one night it drops to the single digits! Change, change, change – have I said already how much I hate change? Temperatures waxing and waning, waxing and waning, the sun comes and then dips behind a cloud, the sky can’t decide whether it should rain or snow and the winds, the winds they gust enormously then die.

Mewdy Blue in heftier days doing the hula?

Indoors I face changes too. So many of my cats are aging way too rapidly. And when one of them is ill I tend to not write or do anything much except care for them and be with them. Lately it has been Mewdy Blue. He is 15 years old now, almost 16. Two weeks ago our wonderful veterinarian actually used the phrase “we’re losing him” and I nearly fell apart. He stopped eating, became jaundiced (yellowing of the skin and/or sclera) and very depressed. His bloodwork showed that his liver was failing rapidly. His diagnosis, tentative because we didn’t do a biopsy, is cholangiohepatitis or as is now termed, cholangitis.

Looking a little rough in the morning

I loaded up with medications and advice and left the office. I stopped by the grocery store and picked up a duck to cook, hoping it would stimulate his appetite (I am a vegetarian so it really killed my appetite). So for at least a week I gave Mewdy Blue medications several times a day, fluids once a day and pushed the duck and his canned food on him as often as I could.

Gradually he began eating more of his canned food (Hill’s d/d Duck) so I started using the cooked duck as a treat after he took his meds. Then one day he actually lifted his paw to “swat” at a toy (at least it was an attempt to swat) and I prayed it was a sign. Soon his tummy bulged just a little and then his bones started to hide away. He was gaining weight!

Thinking of swatting at my camera handle

Now he is bright-eyed, playful and responsive to attention. And he’s eating without any medical stimulants. Mewdy Blue has started to look and act much more like himself. He’s back to receiving only his heart meds, some famotidine for his stomach and daily fluids to continue to wash away those toxins.

I look into those beautiful green eyes and today I can once again see that ornery little kitten who demanded to be kept. I know he’s getting older and I know that one day I will lose him – BUT NOT TODAY!

Actually swatting!

Have you ever devoted yourself to an aging pet, putting every part of your soul into their care regardless of the prognosis? Do you know what you would do in this situation? I’d love to hear your stories and hope that your pets are doing well.

Let's find them a home!

I’d like to give some cats a present for this month: a forever home. On my latest visit to the Story County Animal Shelter I observed three cats that have been at the shelter too long. Sometimes I can’t figure out why certain cats can’t find homes. These three are good examples of this.

Twix

First, Twix is not only a beautiful girl but also very loving and playful. She would be the type to happily warm someone’s lap as long as they wish but then be open to playing whenever the opportunity presents itself. She is a gorgeous brown-patched mackerel tabby shorthair. So why is she still there? The staff at the shelter love Twix so why can’t she find a home?

Frito

Another lovely girl is Frito. She has spent most of her life at the shelter coming in as a young kitten. She is only about 13 months old, spayed and declawed on her front feet. Frito sometimes acts a little shy when you first open her cage door but once you pet her she is so very loving. They tell me she is also curious and playful. Interestingly I find myself drawn to her by some sort of feeling that reminds me of my beloved Bluebird. They are the same color, blue and white, but otherwise are nothing alike. I think it has to do with her inner spirit.

Bobby

Finally there is Bobby, a handsome cream and white shorthair who is very sweet and outgoing. He’s missing the tip of one of his ears but no one knows how that happened, probably frostbite. He loves to be petted but is active too. Like Frito he is curious and loves to investigate. I had trouble getting a good picture of him because he preferred looking around the room to sitting still.

And just for the heck of it I have to share this video of two other cats that are just made for each other. They are not related but seem to get along just fine (notice the male's tail wrapped around the cage door for balance):

Please go in and visit these cats and the others available for adoption if you are from this area. If you aren’t from Iowa then please honor them by adopting an adult cat from your own local shelter. Adult cats have so much to offer without all the training and preparations of a kitten. With an adult, what you see is what you get!

I hope that I can report back very soon that these three have found forever homes and move on to the others at the shelter.

The shelter is located at:         975 W Lincoln Highway
Nevada, IA 50201
Ph: (515) 382-3338

Their hours are:                       M-F 11 am to 4 pm

                                                Closed on holidays and weekends

You can see more of the pets awaiting adoption at the shelter website and updates on their Facebook page.

Change 2012

I don’t like change. I don’t suppose anyone does. With the changing of the years I tend to think of things gone by, and loved ones now gone.

Bluebird 1997-2011

“…gone away is the Bluebird……” from one of my favorite holiday songs, Winter Wonderland now only brings tears instead of a love for the snow covered landscape. I know Bluebird left me in 2011 but it seems like only yesterday sometimes. I still can’t believe she’s gone. I still remember her as that tiny little girl with the big round eyes, my Prima Donna.

Rainbow 1994-2012

In all of 2012 I only saw one Rainbow and she is now gone as well. She was a miracle from God. I prayed that she would appear and there she was. A perfectly built and designed feline form painted with the greatest artistic flare. Her green eyes shone as emerald charms to dress up her already fancy coat. She had a unique personality, my Gorgeous Clown.

Twygal 1994-2012

And Twygal, my little Chubs; feisty and loveable all in one little body. She was the twilight with a galaxy of stars in her coat. Her white socks and stripped nose brought a sparkle to her tortie fur. I always believed she was a gift from my beloved Gabrielle to help me cope with other losses. Now she’s gone my sweet little Tickle.

They’ve each taken with them a piece of my heart that will never be replaced. I can only dream that they are waiting with others I’ve lost at the Bridge where we all will be reunited one day.

Mewdy Blue

Now I watch as more of my babies decline. Mewdy Blue (15 1/2), who doesn't like to eat anymore can barely maintain his 7 lbs. while Lady Butterfly (17 1/2) hovers around 5 lbs. Mewdy Blue has become inactive and distant coming downstairs only at mealtimes and hasn't slept with me in over a week. Lady Butterfly thankfully is still quite active and attentive but I worry nonetheless. In all I have 5 cats on medications of some sort. At least 7 cats are over the age of 10 (Sparks and Tourmalina may be just 10 but I'm only guessing).

Lady Butterfly (Question & Fargo behind her)

 So what does 2013 hold for my family? I pray that I might have just one year with no losses to memorialize. No, I envision a happy 2013 with health and happiness for us all. What do you see for your new year? I'd love to hear from you.