All images and text are copyrighted by Andrea Dorn. Please do not "borrow" them without permission

Monday, November 25, 2013

Lady Butterfly



Almost 20 years ago I lost Gabrielle’s Galaxy, my best friend Gabbie. Two years later my precious baby boy Misha Baryshnikat joined her. The reason I bring this up now is because the other day I found myself calling their names as I looked for Lady Butterfly. I’m not sure if it is a case of a “maternal” mixing of names or if, just perhaps, those two are now hanging around Lady as she struggles with the late stages of kidney failure.

Misha Baryshnikat





I sometimes feel as if my life is in a downward spiral. Year after year I lose this cat then that cat and each loss is worse than the previous one. True, I’ve had good things happen too but it’s hard to see those things when loved ones are dying.

Lady in 2009 mid-rollover
Lady has been a tough little girl but she’s really having a hard time of it this week. I started treating her with Sucralfate to battle the high levels of phosphorus in her system, Lactated Ringers solution supplemented with potassium because her potassium is low and Azodyl to eat up all those toxins her kidneys can’t deal with. She’s been eating the Iams kidney diet as long as I mix it with water so she can lap it up but now she’s not so happy with that. This week I am giving her anything she will eat and that usually changes every day. (this morning she seemed to be happy with Purina’s kidney diet, tonight she's eating Iams Recovery Formula, what next?)
2011

I’m just afraid that she may not make it to the end of this year. That would mean three cats this year. Then only Sky Voice is left to represent my first feral colony even though he was born in my house. But I’m trying not to look at it that way. No, for now Lady is fighting and I am helping.

It’s just that feeling I got when I called out Gabbie and Misha’s names. Are they really here? Are they trying to call to Lady? I don’t want her to go with them, not yet.

UPDATE:  It doesn't look like Lady is going to make her 19th birthday. I've been carrying her around the house today and tonight she is restless. Right now she's hiding from me. Not a good sign for cat who's usually so cuddly. This is not going to be a good night.

29 comments:

  1. Sending LOVE & hugs, and PURRS from all the Purries of Purrchance To Dream.
    Our Spooker did the same thing two weeks ago - stopped eating and hid. With some coaxing to eat (we did not force feed her) she has bounced back a bit, weaker than before, but still with us.
    We pray that Lady Butterfly bounces back, too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    2. Thanks for the prayers and for the positive experience. She is still with me this morning and even jumped up on the bed by herself. I am realistic about this but I can't help my emotions. I wish she could stay.

      Delete
  2. We read about Lady on the CB this morning and just wanted to stop by to say our hearts go out to you......we hope Lady will have at least this years' holiday period with you if not more but calling your other cats probably means you're feeling their spirits there waiting to welcome Lady to the "better place" where they are. We send hugs and prayers.....wish we could say something truly comforting - but those of us who have loved deeply as we do with our animals totally understand that very little can be said to make things "better"....

    Hugs, Sammy and his Mom Pam

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for your support. I know they are waiting for her but I'm still holding on from here.

      Delete
  3. So sorry that Lady being so sick. It is so hard when they get older and get sick. We sure do send tons of purrs and prayers. Just know we are all there with you to support you. Take care.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much Marg. It helps to know the support is there when needed

      Delete
  4. we are very sorry to hear about everything and especially Lady Butterfly.....we are sending purrs and prayers

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the prayers and purrs. I'm sure they helped Lady through the night.

      Delete
  5. Purrs and prayers for Lady and for you.

    The Florida Furkids

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks to Florida, the sunshine state. We have a little sunshine today. It makes the snow a little more blinding :) We appreciate your purrs and prayers

      Delete
  6. It's a difficult thing to accept, the passing of our beloved companions. We want them to be with us throughout our entire journey, but of course that's not possible. We don't know if it's Lady's time to cross or not, but we're sending purrs and purrayers to her and to you as well, for the Highest Good of All Concerned. (((Hugs)))

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're right, I want them all to be with me forever. I am being realistic but it is hard. Thanks for your support.

      Delete
  7. We are sending purrs and prayers to you and your cats. Kidney disease and failure is something that progresses and nothing seems to stop it. I have seen it with one of my previous cats. Take care and enjoy the time you still have together.
    Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're right, all you can do is slow it down. Thanks Hannah and Lucy for being there.

      Delete
  8. I am so very sorry to hear about your sweet Lady Butterfly. There are no words of comfort because of the fear of the unknowns. I will keep you and your sweetie in my prayers and the kitties in the house will start their purrs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks. I know you have been travelling the same road as I after losing your precious Abby. Last night I had my first dream of Mewdy Blue and I woke up with a smile until I realized that he is still gone. He was so happy in the dream and I could actually feel his fur in my hands. So close and yet so far away.

      Delete
  9. We came by to leave purrs and pawtaps for Lady. And hugs for you.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I wish things were different for you and loved one. I know it all looks very bleak, but whatever happens, remember that these little lives are and were better because they were lived with you. If Gabbie and Misha are there, waiting for Lady, then it means that she will be with loved ones when she goes, just as she is right now, with you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And I am the better for her being here. She has been a pet therapy cat so she brought her special kind of love to a lot of people. Lady is one of those special cats that seemed to sense when someone in the Long Term Care really needed her.

      Delete
  11. We haven't met you before, but saw the post about Lady Butterfly over at the Blogosphere and wanted to drop by to let you know we will be purring and praying for you and Lady Butterfly. Two of our brofurs passed away in the same year, and that was super hard on our mom so we know how hard this is for you. We hope to read in the future that your girl is doing better. Purrs and hugs, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

    ReplyDelete
  12. We are so sorry that Lady Butterfly seems to be fading. Sending out our best comforting purrrrrrrsss and gentle headbumps to you all. We hope you and Lady are still hanging in there.

    ReplyDelete
  13. We are sending our best love and rumbly purrs to you and Lady Butterfly. We know how hard this time is for both of you, and also how relentless it feels, to lose a cat each year as we have lost a dear soul each year since 2009. You have given Lady Butterfly a beautiful life and she has in turn brightened the lives of those she visited as a working cat. The time our furry friends are with us is never long enough. You have made her time here wonderful.

    Enjoy these days together, bathe in love

    Mungo & The Ape xx

    ReplyDelete
  14. We send you positive purrs.
    We understand that feeling when you have had a kitty for so long.
    We purr she will be there for a little longer.
    Purrs Tillie and Georgia,
    Treasure,Tiger, JJ and Julie

    ReplyDelete
  15. We're so sorry for you and Lady that you are going through the roller coaster ride that is CRF. Sending warm light, healing thoughts and gentle purrs.

    'Kaika and his mom

    ReplyDelete
  16. We came over from the CB to give our biggest purrs and prayers to your precious Lady Butterfly (what a beautiful name she has). It is so very heart-wrenching to be in the spot you are...I experienced that with my first cat Doogie with chronic kidney failure going to acute, we tend to feel so helpless. Holding you both in our prayers and sending you healing thoughts.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Andrea, I know you've read the story of how my Kublai, Allegro and Fawn came to "take Sally home", and you know Gabbie and Misha were both bringing her comfort and guiding her spirit until her time came.

    I know how this is; I lost four of my first rescues in one year, including my 25-year-old Stanley. Just last year I lost my best friend Cookie at 20 and her fur sister Kelly at 19, the last two of my early years, and with them went that whole era in my life, but I'm not sad anymore. I no longer rescue as I did because their losses gave me a means to a new life, to give my heart a break and help others rescue instead.

    I will think of you as you grieve Lady Butterfly, but know she's reunited with her friends now, and you have her memories, and memories of all the many cats you've rescued. It's not the same as holding them, but it's the gift they give us.

    ReplyDelete
  18. So very sorry to hear about the loss of your dear Lady Butterfly after almost 19 years. We hope your memories of her will bring you comfort.

    Sending our purrs to you,
    Mindy
    Moe
    Cookie
    Mike

    ReplyDelete